I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather rambling about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculped like a rose before it melted
in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more
while watching life.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment, realising that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's"
. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute . . .
look at it and really see it . . . and never give it back."
.(Erma Bombeck)
Monday 8 February 2010
Wednesday 6 January 2010
a book that saves my life
I CANT DESCRIBE IT. ONE THING FOR SURE.
IF YOU'RE A SUICIDAL
LIKE ME
I HIGHLY RECOMEND YOU
READ IT!!!!!
READ IT!!!!
READ IT!!!!
THIS BOOK IS TOO FUCKIN AWESOME!
IT CHANGED MY LIFE!!
I CANNOT NOT READ IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
I CANT PUT IT DOWN
sorry, i may have given you the worst review ever, but i'll explain to you why at the next post
but the main thing is..
READ IT!!!
YOU JUST HAVE TO READ IT!! OR BE LOST FOREVER.
Saturday 2 January 2010
HIM and NEW YEAR
so i recently went up to my mum's mate's house for a new years party.
and while we were all dancing i suddenly realized they've put on one of Lily Allen's song titled ''Him''. ive never heard of this song before.
So me, who was too busy dancing and had no intention at all for listening to the lyrics ended up concentrating on it. really hard. a bit too hard i think untill i stopped dancing as soon as Lily says something about God in her song.
then i made myself listening to it so intently
it goes pretty much like this :
And if there is some kind of god.
do you think he's pleased?
When he looks down on us
I wonder what he sees?
Do you think he'd think the things we do are a waste of time ?
Maybe he'd think we are getting on just fine.
Do you think he's skint
or financially secure?
And come election time
I wonder who he'd vote for?
Ever since he can remember, people
have died in his good name.
Long before that September.
Long before hijacking planes.
He's lost the will he can't decide.
He doesn't know who's right or wrong.
But there's one thing that he's sure of
this has been going on too long!
Do you think he'd drive
in his car without insurance?
Now is he interesting
or do you think he'd bore us?
Do you think
his favourite type of human is caucasian?
Do you reckon he's ever been done for tax evasion?
Do you think he's any good at remembering people's names?
Do you think he's ever taken smack or cocaine?
I don't imagine he's ever been suicidal
His favourite band is Creedence Clearwater Revival
i dont know why i think this song is really interesting.
maybe because it is really bold.
she points out all the question that ive been asking them myself.
and makes it sound like its not a big deal at all talking about God and Questioning about the stuff that some people still think its a taboo to even think about it.
i just think this song is awesome.
not particularly because it has a good beat that you can dance to but because its really deep.
im quite surprised that a singer like Lily Allen would even bother to think about God, considering how most people these day seem to have stopped believing about God and the such.
anyway. i just want to share it with you all.
happy new year by the way.
hope you all had a fabilous time.
except me.
who had to work at new year's eve when everybody was having a good time with their friends and their family, and getting a new years kiss at midnight,
I, on the other hand, was busy collecting dirty glasses, serving meal, taking people's order, cleaned out the dirty plates, shouting ''WHAT CAN I GET YOU?'' when the music got a bit too loud, and also busy rejecting drunk men who was busy asking me out on a date, and saying stuff like ''you're gorgeous'' just so that they can get me to serve them considering how busy and crowd last night was.
absolutely MAD!
they were all fighting each other to get the bar staff's attention. wanting to get served. waving their money in the air to get my attention. hahaha
when it got a bit too hectic i just stood back and walked away to get dirty glasses. and to steal a bit time to stretch out my legs which had been forced to stand up for a good 14 hours!!!!
and when the clock hit 12 o'clock midnight it got even worse!!
i thought they would all fuck off and go home after all that hugging and kissing each other bullshit. but NO
they want MORE DRINKS. which meant more dirty glasses for me to clean up. FUCK SAKE!!
i wanted to cry and tell my boss ''thats it!!!! im fucking quit, ive had enough of this bullcrap!! this is new year!! i should be goin out with my mates getting myself drunk not making people drunk!!'' but then i just took a deep breath and got over it!
but the good thing is, i made FRIKKING LOTS OF TIPS!! i got like 5 times more than usuall.
then i went home about 2 in the mornin and found myself being locked out from my own house. i tried to stand back and check if it is the right house and thought to myself : ''number 11. YES THIS IS MY FUCKIN HOUSE. where the hell everbody goes??!!! and why the hell did they not tell me!!'' GRRRR i was knackered, cold, wanting to pee so BADLY untill i made myself sat on the snow so that i can phone my mum and my sister without peeing my pants.
i tried to phone them twice but none of them answered it.
it got even harder NOT to pee my pants
then i tried to phone them again and finally my sister picked up.
i figured they would have left the key somewhere hidden in the garage so i went and got it, unlocked the door and ran to the toilet!!!
tried too to seek some food in the fridge but cant get any,. went to my bed room and cried myself to sleep.
i cried. really loud.
it just hit me by knowing the fact that this is the 3rd time that i cant have a hogmony night like normal people.
but the next day i tried to make it up for myself by going out with my mum and my sister to a club and then went to my mum's mate's house and so that is how i heard Lilly Allen's song called HIM that i told you about at the begining of this post.
and i drank too much!!
fuck sake. i remember i got in to the club completely sober and went out about 30 mins later being absolutely DRUNK!! hahahahaha
and i was asked for my ID aswell when i wanted to buy a drink becos they didnt believe me that im actually 18 and old enough to buy booze! so it was like ''can i get your ID please'' i threw it out and shoved it up to his face with a complete disdain and i thought ''FUCK SAKE I WORKED AT THE BAR LAST NIGHT SERVING PEOPLE DRINK AND MADE THEM DRUNK and this guy doesnt believe me that im 18?? why when it comes to buy some adult stuff they dont believe me that im 18 but when i try to lie to bus driver that im NOT 18 so that i can get the bus ticket for half price they never believe me either!!!
GOD
what a life im having!
but then again as LILLY ALLEN puts it
''God thinks the things we do are a waste of time''
life keeps kicking me around but i'll never give up!
if life were a girl i would say to her ''BRING IT ON BIATCH!! WHATEVER YOU'RE TRYING TO PUT ME THROUGH IM STILL GONNA MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN SHIT!!''
and while we were all dancing i suddenly realized they've put on one of Lily Allen's song titled ''Him''. ive never heard of this song before.
So me, who was too busy dancing and had no intention at all for listening to the lyrics ended up concentrating on it. really hard. a bit too hard i think untill i stopped dancing as soon as Lily says something about God in her song.
then i made myself listening to it so intently
it goes pretty much like this :
And if there is some kind of god.
do you think he's pleased?
When he looks down on us
I wonder what he sees?
Do you think he'd think the things we do are a waste of time ?
Maybe he'd think we are getting on just fine.
Do you think he's skint
or financially secure?
And come election time
I wonder who he'd vote for?
Ever since he can remember, people
have died in his good name.
Long before that September.
Long before hijacking planes.
He's lost the will he can't decide.
He doesn't know who's right or wrong.
But there's one thing that he's sure of
this has been going on too long!
Do you think he'd drive
in his car without insurance?
Now is he interesting
or do you think he'd bore us?
Do you think
his favourite type of human is caucasian?
Do you reckon he's ever been done for tax evasion?
Do you think he's any good at remembering people's names?
Do you think he's ever taken smack or cocaine?
I don't imagine he's ever been suicidal
His favourite band is Creedence Clearwater Revival
i dont know why i think this song is really interesting.
maybe because it is really bold.
she points out all the question that ive been asking them myself.
and makes it sound like its not a big deal at all talking about God and Questioning about the stuff that some people still think its a taboo to even think about it.
i just think this song is awesome.
not particularly because it has a good beat that you can dance to but because its really deep.
im quite surprised that a singer like Lily Allen would even bother to think about God, considering how most people these day seem to have stopped believing about God and the such.
anyway. i just want to share it with you all.
happy new year by the way.
hope you all had a fabilous time.
except me.
who had to work at new year's eve when everybody was having a good time with their friends and their family, and getting a new years kiss at midnight,
I, on the other hand, was busy collecting dirty glasses, serving meal, taking people's order, cleaned out the dirty plates, shouting ''WHAT CAN I GET YOU?'' when the music got a bit too loud, and also busy rejecting drunk men who was busy asking me out on a date, and saying stuff like ''you're gorgeous'' just so that they can get me to serve them considering how busy and crowd last night was.
absolutely MAD!
they were all fighting each other to get the bar staff's attention. wanting to get served. waving their money in the air to get my attention. hahaha
when it got a bit too hectic i just stood back and walked away to get dirty glasses. and to steal a bit time to stretch out my legs which had been forced to stand up for a good 14 hours!!!!
and when the clock hit 12 o'clock midnight it got even worse!!
i thought they would all fuck off and go home after all that hugging and kissing each other bullshit. but NO
they want MORE DRINKS. which meant more dirty glasses for me to clean up. FUCK SAKE!!
i wanted to cry and tell my boss ''thats it!!!! im fucking quit, ive had enough of this bullcrap!! this is new year!! i should be goin out with my mates getting myself drunk not making people drunk!!'' but then i just took a deep breath and got over it!
but the good thing is, i made FRIKKING LOTS OF TIPS!! i got like 5 times more than usuall.
then i went home about 2 in the mornin and found myself being locked out from my own house. i tried to stand back and check if it is the right house and thought to myself : ''number 11. YES THIS IS MY FUCKIN HOUSE. where the hell everbody goes??!!! and why the hell did they not tell me!!'' GRRRR i was knackered, cold, wanting to pee so BADLY untill i made myself sat on the snow so that i can phone my mum and my sister without peeing my pants.
i tried to phone them twice but none of them answered it.
it got even harder NOT to pee my pants
then i tried to phone them again and finally my sister picked up.
i figured they would have left the key somewhere hidden in the garage so i went and got it, unlocked the door and ran to the toilet!!!
tried too to seek some food in the fridge but cant get any,. went to my bed room and cried myself to sleep.
i cried. really loud.
it just hit me by knowing the fact that this is the 3rd time that i cant have a hogmony night like normal people.
but the next day i tried to make it up for myself by going out with my mum and my sister to a club and then went to my mum's mate's house and so that is how i heard Lilly Allen's song called HIM that i told you about at the begining of this post.
and i drank too much!!
fuck sake. i remember i got in to the club completely sober and went out about 30 mins later being absolutely DRUNK!! hahahahaha
and i was asked for my ID aswell when i wanted to buy a drink becos they didnt believe me that im actually 18 and old enough to buy booze! so it was like ''can i get your ID please'' i threw it out and shoved it up to his face with a complete disdain and i thought ''FUCK SAKE I WORKED AT THE BAR LAST NIGHT SERVING PEOPLE DRINK AND MADE THEM DRUNK and this guy doesnt believe me that im 18?? why when it comes to buy some adult stuff they dont believe me that im 18 but when i try to lie to bus driver that im NOT 18 so that i can get the bus ticket for half price they never believe me either!!!
GOD
what a life im having!
but then again as LILLY ALLEN puts it
''God thinks the things we do are a waste of time''
life keeps kicking me around but i'll never give up!
if life were a girl i would say to her ''BRING IT ON BIATCH!! WHATEVER YOU'RE TRYING TO PUT ME THROUGH IM STILL GONNA MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN SHIT!!''
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